I am a protestant WASP and striving is built into to my ethnic mind-set. Nothing is ever enough, it can always be done better, more thoughtful, more beautiful, more successful.
I want more! More of something. More of anything!
I don’t just strive for myself; I also strive for my children, for my wife, for my family and for others in society. I demand to see improvement, I demand to understand the better way. I want more!
But what has all this wanting ever given me? Mostly disappointment.
I want the people I meet to live better and be better people. I want strangers to be more. Better than they are now. I want strangers to be kind, loving, thoughtful, so I try to bring it out of them by displaying the traits I want to see in them.
Sometimes I win, sometimes I fail.
At my core, I am seeking to control the world around me.
Here is what I really want. I want to control the world, with my thoughts, and by my actions. This is the way I control my fear. By planning and scheming, I will ensure that I have enough and I will be freed from the grasp of defeat. I will win!
I want security, but this goal will murder spontaneity within myself. Is it worth it?
So what’s the point? Do we live life to know God, to uncover an understanding of what it means to be a spiritual being. Yet, is this also a dead end. The searching and longing for what we can never fully understand?
What I really want is to rest within the One as I pass through the world. I want to share my being with the One who loves me best. This is the “pearl of great price.” So I want the most valuable thing that I can possess as a Human. I want to sing and dance, to skip as I pass through the world; to see all of the gifts that the One seeks to provide to me. I am a watchful being, waiting upon them, resting within them. Forever and ever, amen.
“Father, Mother, Let me live this moment well. Live this hour well. Live this day well. This is enough. And let me live it within the presence of your light and love.” Let me do my best; let me live my best life now.
This is enough!